As hairstylists we know there's a delicate balance between being vulnerable with your guests and oversharing. But what does healthy vulnerability look like? Are you oversharing with your clients?
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As hairstylists we know there's a delicate balance between being vulnerable with your guests and oversharing. But what does healthy vulnerability look like? Are you oversharing with your clients?
Join me at the Aspiring Stylist Podcast group on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/theaspiringstylist
Aspire Barber and Beauty Academy:
http://aspirebarberandbeauty.com/
Can I ask you a favor? If you enjoy the show, will you follow us and leave a 5 star review? This helps our show move up in the charts to help more stylists. Thank you!
The Aspiring Stylist with Tracey Franklin is a product of Morgan Franklin Media.
Welcome to the Aspiring Stylists Podcast with Tracey Franklin. Where to begin, grow and aspire to become the best stylist you can be. Whether you're thinking about becoming a stylist opening a salon, or developing your skills as an experienced stylist the next step of your beauty career starts here. Each week we'll discuss strategic ways to design, plan and execute on becoming a stylist that excels behind the chair and above the bottom line. Here's your host, Tracey Franklin.
Tracey Franklin:Have you as a stylist ever wondered if maybe you share too much with your clients if maybe your clients know a little bit too much dirt on you? Well, today I want to talk about the delicate balance between being vulnerable with your clients, and oversharing. Let's start with talking about what a healthy vulnerability looks like. I feel like it's really important that our clients see us as not only their service provider, not only their hair guru, but someone that they can actually enjoy spending a few hours with. So leaving space for your clients to share about their lives with us, I think is number one, right? At the end of the day, this appointment is about them. And they should definitely be leading the conversation, we should be a passenger in this ride, especially in the beginning, when we're trying to really get to know them so that we can share parts of ourselves as well, I think it's important to know who they are. And that's going to help us know if we're oversharing. If they are a very conservative person about their beliefs, then you're going to know what lines you can cross and what things you should probably not talk about. I think that's a really good thing to think about either way. But you know, after you develop a really good relationship with your client, I feel like it's normal to see a shift in this. And I'm going to use myself as an example I've been doing here for 23 years now. And I've still got a few clients that I've had in that first decade, you know, just a few, but we know everything about each other, they have been there for parts of my life, I've been there parts of theirs. So it does start to feel like a more even exchange, when you have these encounters with your clients. You know after time, a client that doesn't have a super exciting life might be really intrigued by your life. So it's not uncommon for someone to come in and be more interested in you than you are in them. But I think the objective should always be to be letting your client drive the car have conversation. The online world is an interesting one. We'd love to get on. We love to see what people are doing. But I think we're very quick to judge when someone posts something that maybe we don't agree with. Have you ever seen those two people who you thought were friends who are having a full blown cat fight in the comments like it's unreal, right? But we do this we're intrigued by other people's lives, and people are intrigued with ours. But as a professional as a stylist, what should we be sharing online? What is the code of conduct for what we should share and what we should really keep to ourselves. And I think that that can vary. I think if you're someone that really likes to put it out there, maybe having a personal page might be a good thing for you. You want your professional page to reflect parts of you, your parts of your personality, I think your clients are genuinely interested in aspects of your personal life. But if you're like someone that's very adventurous with the things that they do, I do feel like maybe that's not always the best platform to share it on. And that's where a personal page is really going to come in handy. I don't think you should have to censor yourself necessarily, I think you should always show up for life as authentically as possible. But I do feel like you should always maintain respect for people. And remember that there is a time and a place for everything. As a salon owner, looking at someone that I'm thinking about hiring social media is happening. Like just know, if you have submitted a resume, the very first thing that I'm going to do is I'm going to look up your Facebook profile. Even though I don't get on Facebook as much as I used to. I think it's a really good way for me to see profile pictures for me to see if you're someone that I would actually believe is in the beauty industry. It's a good way for me to get to know you better for me to see what your interests are and see if maybe you're going to be a good fit for my salon or not. But I'm also looking to see if anyone looked at your profile. Would they have any indication whatsoever that you're in the beauty profession? Is there anything on your page that would let people know that, hey, I'm in barber school or look, I'm a cosmetologist or I'm I'm doing this service. If nobody can tell that you're a hairstylist, then I know I've got a lot of work cut out for me as a salon owner to help you create a social media presence. And that's something I need to consider whether or not I want to do. There are certain online behaviors that would stop me from hiring someone. I'm not interested in seeing you post inappropriate comments or graphics on social media. And I'm certainly not interested in any cattiness. My Salon culture thrives on community, and I'm not looking to hire someone that I don't think is a good fit. I think everyone can agree that social media has taken on this whole new personality, especially in reels and I love to see all these reels where people are creating funny content, you know, it's all relatable, right? Like a stylist. Like we all remember that client that freaked out at the front desk, and we make a funny reel about it. And it's so funny because it's happened to all of us. And because it makes us feel so much less alone, right. But one thing that I don't ever, ever, ever think is okay, is to complain about a client or a former client online, especially do not call them out by name. I don't think making fun of clients, I don't think making fun of anybody that I'm trying to retain as a customer. And my establishment deserves to be made fun of or ridiculed in any way, I just, I don't find that humorous. And I would really like to see it stop. We all go through personal problems. We all walk through challenges, and we all have drama from time to time. And I think it's important to know how much of that is okay to share on social media, maybe you just went through a divorce and you're battling custody issues, or you know, maybe you've got some money problems, or salon problems or family problems, problems in general, I just don't think that social media is the best place to air your dirty laundry, I think the best thing that you can do is start with internal work, start with trying to solve these issues internally and privately with the person that you're having conflict with, go out with the girlfriend, split a bottle of wine and talk it out social media is not the place for that everyone is entitled to their own personal beliefs and their own political beliefs. And, you know, I think we're inclined to share these beliefs with people on social media, right? Because it's our beliefs. It's who we are at our core. And we feel like social media, like why wouldn't people want to know us on that level? And maybe some do, but I think it's important that you remember what you're using social media for. And that's to grow your business. So again, take a second, ask yourself, Is this something that my mom would like to see? Or is this something that a potential client would like to see? So it's 2024? It's an election year, and our salon floors are going to be flooded with conversations around politics? Do you care about politics? I certainly hope you do. It benefits you to have an opinion to have a vote. This is Democracy, okay. I think that you should stand firm and what you believe. But I don't think that posting those beliefs on social media is going to help your bottom line unless you're dealing with someone that thinks the same way you do. And that's not always the case, you're not always going to believe the same way that someone else believes. So when you're making these statements, when you're letting the world know where you stand, you have to ask yourself, Is this going to bring in a client? Is it going to help advance my career? Is it really going to do anything to benefit me professionally? And if the answer to that question is no, then it's a private conversation that you have and not a social media post. So let's dive a little bit deeper into this concept about politics behind the chair. You're a hairstylist, you love to joke, you love to have a good time with your clients. And you generally like to keep things light hearted, that can be a little bit difficult. When it comes to politics. People have very strong beliefs around politics, like I said, as they should, if you're okay, letting your clients vent about their beliefs around politics or any other kind of taboo subject and it doesn't agitate you or ruin your day, then hey, that's okay. But you know, I always like to have a back up plan because maybe they're gonna say something that triggers me and I'm gonna have a really hard time holding back my own beliefs around that subject. I like to keep the conversation light hearted. I'm just going to take a step back. I'm going to reroute the conversation and we're going to start talking about something else, because I respect you. I respect you as a person and I respect the fact that you feel strongly about what you feel strongly about, but maybe it's not an appropriate conversation to have behind the chair. Maybe I don't want the client next to me how thing to listen to this full on rant about how horrible our president is, or whatever the conversation may be, it just doesn't feel good to me. And when I'm working on someone and trying to make them feel good, that's what I'm trying to do. I want everyone to feel good. And I just feel like it's such an important topic, I don't ever want anyone to feel like they can't be their selves. But I think sometimes you just have to say, hey, we're just gonna have to agree to disagree about this and move on. I do feel like there are times when you can overshare with your client online in person, you know, and it really can hurt your credibility as a professional, you know, I mean, I do I have clients that I've been friends with for a really long time. And we talk about all kinds of things, intimate things with our partners and things that we may not be willing to admit to anyone else. But these are very specific relationships, and they are not the norm. So I think it's important to just kind of read the room when it comes to things like this. Like maybe it's not the appropriate time to tell that really funny new sex joke that you heard at a party last weekend, you know, it made you laugh, you know, your client would totally appreciate it. But what if they didn't you know, what if they didn't, yikes, then it's uncomfortable. I've said things before that I instantly regret and I'm a big enough woman to look at them and say, You know what, that was completely out of line and inappropriate, and I'm so sorry. And then I just move along. And you know, no big deal. Your public perception as a stylist, it's going to be the difference between you growing long term, or being a temporary success in this industry. So you do have to care what people think you can't be this rebel without a clue. I don't care what people think about me, I'm going to speak my mind. This is not the time and this is not the place. Again, if you have a hard time separating this than just make it about the client. That's always the safest bet. And the most professional choice you can make. Now your coworkers, that's a different story. We have a great time at my salon, and there is not much that we probably don't share but that's breakroom conversation, that's out back conversation that's getting together after hours conversation, for the most part, it's just not fair to share those things in public on the salon floor. What if you're going through a hard time, you know what if you're going through a divorce, so you've got maybe some embarrassing financial situations or some family problems, and it's just bringing this negative energy into the salon, you want your people to be there for you, and they should but make sure it's not something that you're using as an excuse to not show up strong, you need to be showing up strong for your team, you still need to be turning out really great work. It's totally fine, right? We're human beings, we're going to have these problems. But we need to be able to separate we need to be able to leave that at home, outside wherever we need to and not bring it into the salon and not let it affect our work or our relationships with the people that we work with. You know, sometimes our clients will say something really funny to us, or really outlandish. And it's like, oh, my god, I can't wait to get to the break room and share this with someone. But what if your client asked you not to? Would you still feel inclined to do so? I would certainly hope not. When anyone comes to you in a moment of trust and a moment of vulnerability, I would really hope that you would see that as the sacred exchange that it really is and respect their privacy and not share those things, even with your co worker, even if you're dying to what about your personal thoughts about a guest? I mean, is it okay to share that with a co worker? I mean, of course, we're going to vent about a problematic client or a tricky situation. You know, maybe we're not just venting, maybe we just really need someone to listen to us and talk us off the ledge. You know, maybe we need someone to tell us, hey, this is normal. This happens, right? Not every day is a breeze. Not every guest is ideal. As a salon owner, I am not under any disillusion that people don't talk about me in my salon, I like to think that I'm held in high regard that I'm respected that I'm loved. And I think for the most part that I am, but I know that not everyone is going to agree with every strategy I put into place with every idea I bring to the table and that's okay. As a salon owner, I reserve the right to run my establishment in a way that I see fit. Do I think that you should be talking smack about your salon owner in their own house? I absolutely don't I would be so incredibly hurt if I walked in on a conversation or if I heard someone saying something about me that felt mean or disrespectful. So I feel like if you need to have those Converse patients the best course of action is to just go out with your girlfriend, go out with a co worker after work, have some cocktails bent. But I think it's really rude to talk about management within the salon. So maybe this is just who you are. Maybe you're just extra Sherry write an open book is just who you are and how you've always been. And maybe you're wondering, is it too late for me to change my ways and clean up my act and become a more private person? And I'd like to say no, I think this comes with maturity. I think as young people, we really thrive on approval, we really thrive on being lied to like, it's really important to us. But I'm just here to tell you, the more mature you get, the more comfortable you get in your own skin, and the less you need external validation from other people. So I think this is just the natural course of life. I think as you become older and wiser, you're also able to see the value in keeping some things just for you. Right, there are some really special things about you about your life about things that take place that really should just be for you.
Morgan Franklin:Thank you for joining us on this episode of anytime soon. The Aspiring Stylist Podcast with Tracey Franklin. If you enjoyed listening and you want to hear more, make sure you subscribe on Apple Podcast, Spotify or wherever you find your podcasts. The Aspiring Stylist Podcast with Tracey Franklin is a Morgan Franklin Production. Today's episode was written and produced by Morgan Franklin editing and post-production by Mike Franklin. Want to find out more about Tracey and the Aspiring Barber and Beauty Academy go to aspirebarberandbeauty.com